A papyrus walked in today...

[vfmarky]

It's been rolled up for far too long. It's quite "woody", has got a few loose "threads" and I'm wondering how on earth would be the best way to mount it...my first thought was tapestry tape on the periphery as we want to expose the woven edges. I'd be a bit nervous about using a wet adhesive, yes?

p.s. it's winter up here right now and it's very cold. I hope the sun is shining where you are...

[Bill Henry]

If the papyrus has been rolled up for some time and has the memory of a tight window shade, you might consider “relaxing” it before you try to mount it.

I have in the past used a wallpaper trough. You can get them, of all places, at a wallpaper/paint store.

It is a plastic “bucket” about 36 inches long, 4 inches wide and 4 inches deep. In the bottom of the trough, we place about an inch of water. On top of the water we float two plastic ice cube trays (plastic, not metal), and on top of that we place the rolled up papyrus. The trays are meant to keep the papyrus from directly contacting the water.

Then this whole is covered with a transparent plastic bag (we use shrink wrap plastic) and let it relax in this tropical environment for several days.



After a few days, the rolled up document is supple enough to work with.

At this point, contrary to conventional wisdom and the mounting police, we usually sandwich the papyrus between two sheets of glass with a colored or textured mat behind the second sheet. This way we avoid any adhesives in contact with the document.

Yeah, the sun is shining up here … along with almost daily thunderstorms and one tornado last week.

The way you announced this thread, I was expecting, “A papyrus walked into a bar with a duck on his head and said to the barkeep …”

[The Jolly Good Framer #1]

Bill, you can’t leave me in suspense like that. What’s the rest of the joke?

[Bill Henry]

Geeze, I dunno, I can’t tell a joke to save my life. The one that sticks in my mind is that infuriating, rambling, nonsensical piece of blather told by Steve last week.

Maybe the punch line is something like, “Better Date than Leave Her!”

I’m open to suggestions.

[prospero]

Harking back to the Cambdge Unvrsty topic, on initial glance i thought it was " A platypus walked in today". I was quite alarmed when I read of the poor creature being rolled up. But I thought Bill's idea of making it a custom sauna very heartwarming.

[vfmarky]

Bill, you never cease to amaze me with your ingenuity.

Talking of bars, how 'bout this one.
A battery and two jumper leads walked into a bar.
The barman says, "OK, I'll serve you - but don't start anything."

[Roboframer]

The way you announced this thread, I was expecting, “A papyrus walked into a bar with a duck on his head and said to the barkeep …”

Maybe the punch line is something like, “Better Date than Leave Her!”

I’m open to suggestions.

OK - I've got this one covered.

Guy walks in to a frame shop with a papyrus under one arm and a duck under the other arm.

The Duck is a bit quackered, the customer plonks the duck on the counter where it makes like a dead fly.

"Hey" says the framer "You can't leave that lyin' there"

"It's not a lion, it's a duck" says the guy (no - that's not it yet)

Whilst rolling out the papyrus, next to the duck, which is now getting to it's feet, the guy says "It's no ordinary duck either, it's a talking duck"

"Yeah - right" says the framer

"It's true" says the duck "This guy makes a living from me - but I have a good business head and actually have more money than him - I'll be paying for framing this"

Well, the framer is gobsmacked, but he carries on with the design process anyway and between them all they opt for a nice job - papyrus floated with pass-through hinges on to a fabric wrapped board. Larson Juhl radiance frame with matching fillet under a mount (mat) to match the fabric wrapped support.

The guy winced when quoted the price with museum glass, but the duck, being a flash git, said "Yeah - go for it"

So the framer comes to finalise the invoice and says to the duck "So - you are paying for this, right?"

"Sure" says the duck.

So, the framer writes (enters) on the invoice ........ (wait for it now) ....................












"DUCK-BILLED PAPYRUS"

[Bill Henry]

Good one, John!

Maybe you should take your act on the road … like to the Falklands, you know, someplace really remote.

[prospero]

Good one, John!

Maybe you should take your act on the road … like to the Falklands, you know, someplace really remote.

That's where they sent Jim Davidson wasn't it.

[Merlin]

That's where they sent Jim Davidson wasn't it.

Yes it was and his show to the Armed Forces out there was absolutely Brilliant. However, not one that could be given in any Public variety hall or on the T.V.

[prospero]

Is he still there?

He's been a bit quiet since the mid 80's....

[Dave]

A dog limped into a western saloon bar and said "I'm looking for the man who shot my Paw".

Tenuous I know, but it's my favourite one liner.