The Framers Forum

I was going to post this on Ricky's ( Barnard Castle) obituary thread, but then decided better to keep it separate.

I have this idea to make a video before I die which can be shown at the funeral service, or more likely at the wake afterwards.
In the video I am looking at the congregation and saying.
" Ive always wanted to be at my own funeral, just to hear what's said about me, and to see whose turned up. Must say Ive quite enjoyed it"
Long pause >>>> Look intently at one person and say " I didn't expect you to be here, thanks for coming. I really appreciate the effort."
Another pause look in a different direct and say " We are all going to die, so why not have fun with it. I'm not sad, I'm glad. Its good up here - one day you will come and join me "
Turn to the person who read the Eulogy and say" Thanks for a nice eulogy, but you missed out the best bits. Now you are all wondering what I'm referring to...."
There are so many possible variations

Ive spoken to my local vicar and he says whilst he has never experienced having such a video, he has no objections whatsoever to allowing it either in church, or at the wake.
I personally think better to have it at the wake, after everyone shad a few drinks. When they least expect it!

I'm interested to hear your views and opinions.

Inventive Keith, time travelling Steve N. will let you know how it went...
I'm want 'Spirit in the Sky' by Norman Greenbaum blasting out at full pitch as the curtains close.
Should be either tears or smiles, hopefully the latter. Sadly 'Lazy Sunday Afternoon' by The Small faces doesn't work midweek.

Very timely and tasteful thread; with this forum having just lost one of of its nicest members, and people dying all over the world right now.

Are you for real?

I thought it was just me. Let's just be glad he didn't post it on Ricky's thread as he first thought he might do.

This thread has had over 100 views. I must be responsibly for at least half of them trying to figure out if Keith is being serious

I really don't think Keith had any intention of upsetting anyone. In the UK, twe are poor at discussing death, especially compared to many countries. There are surveys saying just this. With so many lives being taken by this terrible virus, perhaps it is not a bad time to discuss funeral ideas. It may seem heartless and disrespectful, but it depends on how comfortable you are with death and talking about it. And it doesn't mean you are less upset losing people if you are comfortable discussing it.

I can see it could be seen a thoughtless or too soon, but different people will see it differently.

What i cannot get over is all these people having parties and going out to the beach etc and potentially spreading the virus.

Just my point of view

Nick

Nick, I'm in agreement with you. Talk of mortality is something that we're not terribly good at.

I read Keith's post as an honest approach to a difficult subject. People are being left in a postion where they are not able to say goodbye. Talking and planning for scenarios which may come about, even in a seemingly light hearted way, is something that I feel should be considered.

Python, Shakespear, seasonal foot-washing; examples of addressing the the temporary nature of life, with varying degrees of humour.

I hope my post has not offended anyone.
It was a genuine attempt to get your views and opinions of funerals
It was partially prompted by a funeral I attended in France
There were 2 Englishmen dressed in the usual dark suit and black tie
The French men all had colourful ties and explained " We are here to celebrate the deceased life, and that's why we all wear bright ties."

I also was impressed by something a vicar asked me. He said what do you think an unborn child might reply if you were able to ask them" What do you expect to see when you come out into the world?" One thing is for sure they would never ever expect the truly amazing world which we are so blessed to experience.
And I believe the same goes for death. No one can imagine what to expect.

I realise this is not a subject all of you are comfortable with, but death remains something difficult to avoid
And the post has attracted almost 500 views so has got peoples attention.

It has been read by George Strange a framer in Brandon, Canada and he has emailed me an interesting story about Harry Lehotsky, a Canadian minister in Winnipeg who pre-recorded his complete funeral service. He sadly died aged only 49. He worked tirelessly for his local community

Here is a link, for anyone wanting to read about his recording

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba ... l-1.571003

I think you've missed the point that your OP seemed particularly tasteless and insensitive when we'd just lost one of our members, not to mention the fact that some members here may have just lost loved ones themselves due to either the virus or other reason and would maybe appreciate a little sensitivity.

Rainbow,




So you are telling me, its not the right time to talk about funerals.
Shall I delete this entire thread and post it again at the right time.

Rainbow, can you please tell me when its the right time.

If you are not comfortable reading about funerals, simply click on the next topic.

I confess to hoping that you might appreciate the sensitivity of the subject matter instead of clodhopping on it in hobnail boots but clearly I was wrong, for which I apologise.

People are always passing away. It’s an unfortunate fact of life. Given that, and the number of members, it is statistically likely that there is always someone who has lost someone. I have lost ex colleagues during this pandemic.

That said, everyone deals with death differently. Those that record their own sermon deal with it differently to many members on here. Neither is right neither is wrong. It’s a personal thing so each is right for them.

I do no think Keith has been disrespectful. He has posted an article, with a clear heading, about how one person dealt with his death.

If people do not wish to read about these things, at any time, then do not click on the post. Certainly do not keep coming back to it

It's good to hear other opinions, Chris. The point I was trying to make (unsuccessfully it seems) was not that talking about death in itself is an uncomfortable issue as Keith had misinterpreted [quote: "I realise this is not a subject all of you are comfortable with, but death remains something difficult to avoid :giggle ] but rather the fact that Keith's original post seemed tasteless in view of the circumstances I mentioned. However, I can only apologise to Keith again for thinking that he might have shown some sensitivity towards those who might be grieving the loss of loved ones. Keith and I are probably at opposite ends of the sensitivity scale when it comes to possibly treading on the toes of those who may be going through extremely upsetting times, so we're never going to agree and as this is Keith's thread, I shall leave it at that.

^ I didn't express that very well but I can't edit it. This expresses better what I wanted to say about Keith's post:

The point I was trying to make (unsuccessfully it seems) was that Keith had misinterpreted my comment on his original post as being averse to talking about death in general rather than comment on the questionable taste of his original post, particularly at at time when we had just heard about the death of one of our members. However.. etc.

Many of us knew and liked Ricky very much. You will notice that those of us who knew Ricky are noticably quiet on this thread. I think that in this case our silence says it all. We've lost a very special friend!

Yes - a good point - I actually spoke to Ricky EVERY single week - to see what he needed for delivery that week. We always 'had a laugh' & a 'bit of banter' - he was a very nice guy & a joy to speak to.

I have been quiet on this thread - because I have lost someone I have known for 25 years - since he first got going & expressed an interest in getting a hot press - which was my previous career.

I was worried when I saw that Keith said he had considered posting his comments in Ricky's thread - C'mon Keith I know you well & I was disappointed that an industry 'icon' & very skilled salesman hadn't thought it through - you are better than that...

Stay safe everyone & let's do what we can - within the limits imposed.

Lots of love - Steve G

I hope that there will be no objections if I close this thread later today.

Good idea Mark - If it could be closed I think it would be for the best.

Am I allowed to say that it was, and never will be my intention to upset anyone, although I seem to have managed to do just that.
The very sad passing of Ricky was a blow to all of us.
The same day I heard the news, I has been talking at length with a very religious friend about death, funerals, wakes etc. which made quite an impression.
So that conversation, and Ricky's demise obviously clouded my judgement. Easy at my age
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I now wish I had waited a month before starting the post, but didn't and for that I apologise to you all.
I agree close the thread, or delete it completely as I now realise the timing was bad.