The Framers Forum

"RING RING"

"Nielsen Bainbridge, Hayley speaking"

(Best spotter/nerd impression please)

"I'd like to make an order please - account number A1234"

"Angmering Framing? - Go ahead"

"Jumbo Jet - two"

"Sorry"!?

"Jumbo Jet - alphamat artcare, colour 'Jet' oversized/Jumbo, two sheets please"

"Oh - hee hee, your supposed to give a product code reference number though"

"Yes - 747"

"It's not - is it"?

"No - I was just bored - it's 8545" (or whatever it really is)

How 'bout "I ordered two 8X10 chops and you have sent me one 10X10 and one 8x8.

Same theme .... from may years ago..

Harold Horn of Sisslings Bradford phoned a mount board supplier to place an order and the sales girl said I cant take your order until you give me your customer number. Its our new way of working. Harold ...being Harold said he didn't know his customer number,and sort of expected her to know, as it was a number her company had chosen, not him.

And if she didn't believe who he said he was she could phone him back and she would then know it was Sisslings Bradford she was talking to

She said it was up to him to find out his customer number before picking up the phone.

Harold being Harold decided he wanted to do things his way, so phoned me at Slater Harrison and said " Can I give you an order?" I was quick to answer Yes.... as had been trying to get his business for months.

And as they say the rest is history.... it grew into a very big account back in the 80's and 90's. It became a £100,000 p.a. biz at Sisslings in Dublin.

I always said " A business is only as good as its weakest link " On that day Harold Horn found another suppliers weakest link.

I think the moral of Keith's tale is: "Don't make it difficult for people to spend money".

I haven't spent a cent at B&Q since they switched to automatic checkouts. If they can't be arsed to provide a human being to take my cash - well sod 'em.

Another jolly jape I used to do to a company who had an annoying habit of discontinuing lines. Ring up and enquire about discounts for some enormous quantiiy. It's better if you try to place a big order for stuff they have first and leave the disco one until last. Then when they tell you it's no longer available, say that it's all for the same job and the rest of the order is no good without the last item.

I'm an evil bastard on the side.

I can promise I will never make it difficult for you to spend money with me! I will be happy to take your money anytime

I wish there were more customers like you lot, who know how to have a laugh

Could also have something to do with the fact that I am also evil and sadistic

love a sadistic sales lady are small ones (orders) as welcome as big ones

Its not the size that matters ......

All orders welcome no matter how big or small, especially my Forum friends

I guess on the other side of the old coin, a supplier has to understand what is meant when someone is asking for :-

A strip, a length, an outer, a pole, a bundle, a pack, a minimum, a maximum, " x " no of feet, " x " no of mtrs, a carton...and my all time FAVE that was ever requested-

" 'Ello lad, a need an order - for T'morra. 'Ken I 'ev a, what-ya-ma-call-it, erm, erm, a " rod " a black, " rod " a brahn & erm a " measure " of erm, er rag ? "

Who can decipher this request then ? !!

I, in my Framing infancy, miss-heard a VERY old Welsh lady that wanted a new Morso. I thought she asked for it to go to PARIS...she, naturally meant POWYS To compound matters, being VERY NEW to the job, the lady also wanted a gun to back her pictures with. On trying to find out which gun she wanted, I sort the help of my more experienced " friends ". They said, "..Ask ker if it's the Oozy 9mm ". Luckily, She being old & somewhat deaf, I got away with it !