The Framers Forum

Did a spot of gardening today.

First job was to trim a cob nut tree and a bramble hedge that are obscuring our view over the fields behind us - clip clip clip for the tree with an extendable cropper - serious bit of kit, will go through a 2" branch like butter. Then on to the hedge with my brand new Wicks petrol hedge trimmer - lots of fun. But the hedge is on the other side of a deep drainage gulley and instead of just clearing the brambles between the barbed wire fence and climbing through/over it in to the field (which is what I did in the end) I stood half way up the bank.

I was going fine but suddenly I felt a jolt on my wrist - "OW"!! (must be a thorn), and then another on my neck .... WASPS!!! I knew we had a wasps nest in a tree stump but I hadn't realised how far I'd gone up the gulley and how close I was to it - almost on top of it, the noise/vibration must have pissed them off!

House or fishpond? - Fishpond - closer - dive in it ..... nah - silly - house! Dropped trimmer, turned, went over on my ankle and fell (I've got a glass left ankle - sports injury - volleyball - rough game volleyball) Stumbled up and ran, in pain, whipping my top off as I went and then hurling it around my head like a helicopter blade.

Paused to look back before I ran in - would a swarm of wasps be following me in to the house?!! Good excuse for not taking my wellies off - wife would go beserk otherwise, might even anyway! (amazing how priorities like this flash through your mind in these situations) No sign - thank God, calmed down, wellies off.

Checked/brushed my clothing and my hair for wasps in the bathroom, attended my wounds and injury, had a few coffees, watched some TV - went back in to the garden with some witch hazel-soaked cotton wool under my sock. Finished the hedge from the field side.

Next job - the pond (big pond - 20x16' plus a waterfall header) level is dropping too much and we've just had a water meter fitted - sure it's capillary attraction from soil/roots between the edging stones around the pond/header and not a leak in the liner.

Started to clear between/around the rocks, got to the header and started working on those rocks, then noticed the filter behind it - overflowing ..... no bloody wonder the water level's dropping, when was the last time I cleaned that out? Not this year, that's for sure!

It's a big rectangular box sunk in to the ground, two compartments, first (where the water comes in) has 3 large rectangular sponges slid over 'legs' - second has the same but the 3 sponges are finer, the compartments, complete with sponges, lift out completely. The water comes in after passing over a flourescent UV tube and some electro-magnets to zap the algae and make the water crystal clear.

Now then, I know you're supposed to switch it off before working on/cleaning it but I couldn't remember why or see any reason to and doing so would mean walking back to the house and taking off my wellies to get to the switch ... so I didn't.

Pulled out both compartments - absolutely full of stinking green sludge, removed the sponges, hosed the compartments upside-down - trod on the sponges one-by-one whilst hosing, replaced the sponges.

Then I remembered, below the compartments, and which you'd never see because the water is so thick with gunge, are two rectangles of (basically) compressed chicken wire for further filtering - these are usually full of leeches and other weird creatures that we'd never otherwise see, like fresh water shrimps; rinse these things out in the pond and the fish all shout 'There IS a God'!

So I reached in to the murk.... and got an electric shock - not a big one, just like an unexpected handshake from Mike Tyson, and as I stumbled backwards I was thinking - "Ahh - THAT'S why I should've switched it off first"

I stumbled in to the header pool, jolted my already injured ankle, slipped and went arse over tit in to the pond.

You have my utmost sympathy but I couldn't help chuckling as I read it. Thank you for brightening up my monday morning.

Hope you are ok ,but sounds like a story line for "some mothers" or "one foot in the grave"
Never a dull moment with Robo.
All the best
Brian

They do say that doctors surgeries tend to be jam-packed the day after a Bank Holiday.

Sorry John - The tears are rolling down my face - v funny. With that amount of luck you may well have had a nasty encounter with a Morso blade - so maybe gardening wasn't so bad.

My ankle was very stiff and tender when I woke up this morning (the volleyball injury BTW - years ago, two of us jumped for the same shot and banged in to each other, I landed awkwardly, went over REALLY badly on my ankle, and then the other guy stamped on it when he landed - the pain was so great I passed out, was on crutches for a couple of weeks and since then it's been a 'glass' ankle) so I took the afternoon off, as I may well have done anyway, and rested it, read a book in the garden. Much better now.

Anyway, the pond water level has not dropped at all in over 24 hours, which is good because now we have a water meter it was either sort it or fill the thing in. We love our pond - a most relaxing environment - but didn't want to think about draining it and replacing the liner - so many fish and plants, not to mention the heavy rocks (Purbeck stone) that the liner goes under ... or the concreted bits ditto.

These new water meters are a bit clever aren't they - read remotely. We also had a new electric meter fitted in the shop today - that's also read remotely, so I suppose we can look forward to lower charges now that they don't have to send meter readers out - NOT!

Next Sunday we have more to do in the garden, a ladder will be required ..... and a SCYTHE! Last time I used it I stuck it in my knee; maybe I should set up a camcorder.

Or sell tickets!

Is there any chance you might consider setting up a webcam ?

Worse today, pins & needles in my toes & shin - better strap it up I suppose!

Ooooooooooh , that doesn't look good, i'd be taking that for an xray to be on the safe side

Nah - it's a sprain and if my boss wasn't such a bloody slave driver I'd be off work for a few days ... or rather would have been and by now it would be much better than it is.

(I'm my own boss BTW)

Dood. I don't think you should yard work anymore.
You need to write slapstick comedy instead. That's great stuff. Do NOT perform slapstick comedy tho'...a GLASS ankle? Really?
You Brits are weird. Is it a Chihuly?
Anyway, get the bunny slippers out and hire a gardener. And have a stiff drink.

You haven't got time to be schlepping all the way over here Cathy.

Were's my socks?

prospero wrote:You haven't got time to be schlepping all the way over here Cathy.

Were's my socks?

Prospy! I needed to pick on John. Too Fab a story.

As for your sockies. They are on my needles. Well, kind of. I am attempting to master the Magic Loop sock method. Or making two socks at the same time while knitting on circular needles (2 needle attached at the center by a 40" inch wire). The needles and wire are bent into a figure eight and two balls of yarn are worked and BOTH, YES BOTH SOCKS, are knitted at the same time. And I am learning it on me own. And I be blond. So, they are to be made in time for the next cold snap in you neck of the woods. YOURS will be my first made this way...can ya here my head blowing up!! They will be extra-er special for your cold piggies!

Golly I need to come here more often just for the sake of you guyses fab smilies!

Hope ya like Orange Peter!

Orange and pink if you would be so kind.

If you knit two together, will they both be right-footed or left-footed?

Can you knit Robo some with steel toe caps?


(Much better smiles over here.)

very funny, I could picture it all in my mind..