Made me laugh....

[Graysalchemy]

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'

[Ricky]

Me Too

[mikeysaling]

hurts don't it !!

[prospero]

A man staggers out the pub at chucking out time. He says to his mate, "I dread going home. The missus always accuses me of seeing other women if I'm late back"

"I know what", says his mate. "Take this bit of chalk and stick it behind your ear. Then go home and tell her you have been with another woman all night".

"She'll kill me!", says the man.

"Trust me", replies his mate.

So he goes in and gives the wife a tale about meeting a woman in the pub and one thing lead to another, etc.......

The wife fixes him with a withering gaze.

"You lying bastard!!!", she says. "You've been playing darts!!!".

[Bagpuss]

I was sitting in a restaurant the other evening when I got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail,
I looked round and this bloke shouted, "AND THAT'S JUST FOR STARTERS" !

[prospero]

I was sitting in a restaurant the other evening when a waitress spilled an entire plateful of chicken vindaloo in my lap.

I think she was trying to curry my favour.